hooverphonik.internalbleeding

So I was gonna actually post until I saw this large dud gracing my page. Um..whose bandwidth am I stealing and what the fuck? I found my theme off Wordpress and I’m a little confused.

It’s been awhile, I know. So here goes the best I can give from what vague remnants are left of my fried brain…

I had all sorts of shit I was gonna post about, but I got distracted, as usual. Not a whole lot has happened over the past few weeks, other than this and that. Jenn and I went canoeing a couple of weeks ago, and that was fucking awesome. I thought we were gonna tip the bitch from laughing hysterically. And we planned on bringing a flask at one point? My GOD, we’d be fuckin dead. So along with a near-miss with a gargantuan swan, Jesusbird, smacking God-Knows-What with our oars (”DID I JUST TAKE OUT A FUCKING CARP?!”), etc, it was good times, and I’m dying to do it again.

Over the last couple of months, I may have mentioned the Quality Audit a time or two. I’ve been prepping my branch for it, and it’s been fucking insane trying to get everything in order. Well, it finally happened this week - Monday through Wednesday. It was the longest 3 days of my life. My branch manager compared it to a houseguest, albeit nice, they’ve overstayed their welcome and they’re rifling through all your shit. A fucking chainsaw enema would have been more comfortable, but alas…it’s over now. I took Thursday and Friday as vacation days, and plan on doing JACK SHIT tomorrow. Friday is payday, so I’m going to pay bills and then do whatever. I’m currently sitting here watching In Plain Sight and having a couple beers.

Oh, also, I got a cat!!! I picked her up tonight. I’m lovingly calling her Moxie because her original name (Precious) makes me feel like a giant fag. A gay man living alone with a cat named Precious…yeah, um no. She’s a 4 year old tabby I took from my friend Debbie who just didn’t have the time to give her the care she needed, so she felt comfortable handing care over to me. She’s a very sweet cat, but a little scared right now (naturally).

(edit: I tried to post a picture, but it didn’t feel like showing up. fucker. )

She’s currently hiding under the bed, much as I expected. I knew she would be mildly terrified getting used to her new surroundings, but the odd part is she’s not scared of me. If I go into the bedroom and peek under the bed, she’s very lovey dovey with me. I figure it will be a few days before she’ll come out in search of food/water and her litterbox, but for now I’ll give her the time and space she needs to adapt. Luckily Debbie gave me every cat-related thing she had to make Moxie feel more comfortable in her new home.

For now, I’m gonna check on the cat, finish my beer, and eventually go to bed. I’m sure that will be after 4am or so since I’ve decided to lay off the Xanax, seeing as how I’ve taken it 3 days in a row.

Last night Jenn and I hit City Club. It was the usual bit of partying like a rock star. Oops, whatever. We got ourselves home, ate, and I got into bed around 5am. I was having really weird dreams. Jenn and I had a house, and it looked very similar to my parents’ house. We were sitting around doing something (of which I don’t remember) and I saw this spider in the corner. Not a regular little house spider, but some crazy, tan spider with these thick, hard-shelled legs and whatnot…some shit that looked like it belonged in the jungle. She looked over and said “What the fuck is this, Arachnophobia?” All of a sudden, 3 of them appeared. We got the hell outta the room and I tried to find some spray. When I found it and tried to spray them, it didn’t work; it just pissed them off and they started running toward us. Finally, after freaking out, I said to hell with it and stepped on them. I remember it being the nastiest crunch I’d ever heard.

That was the end of the dream. It was so lucid that I woke up and my heart was RACING. No, I don’t have a phobia at all.

Now I’m bummin on the couch as per usual, flipping channels and baking vegan banana bread and whatnot. What tonight will bring? I have no idea.

Also, I’ve had this song running through my head…and it won’t go away…and I don’t mind. I’d say it’s a current obsession…

Ahh what a weekend. After a rather semi-boring week at work (odd, I know) Jenn came out with me on Friday night to Mary Jane’s Going Away Party. I hadn’t been to the Adam’s Apple in like 4 months, and wow…I forgot how toxic that place is. Timmy was bartending his usual Friday nights, and I don’t know how in the BLOODY HELL I could forget that the boy could mix a drink strong enough to strip paint off a space shuttle. So yeah…Jenn and I proceeded to have about 4 or 5 Vodka and Vodka and Vodka and Cranberries. It was a cheap night, but I paid for it. Jenn was obliterated to the point of no return (at one point of the drive home, she says to me “Wow, I think I’m dead.”). I woke up the next day feeling like a fucking train hit me.

So after Jenn left, I popped a bunch of Advil, tried like hell to hydrate myself, and shut off the a/c for a bit so I could sweat out all the cheap well Vodka. I proceeded to nap the headache off and was good to go. Later on my friend Jason came over and we had us a little Family Guy marathon. I think he ended up leaving around 3:30am. It was good times. Oddly enough, there was no drinking or anything involved, so I managed to get a good amount of sleep without waking up feeling like shit or even the least bit scatterbrained.

Today I managed to run a few errands and just got home a little while ago. Later on in the evening, my friend Barry is supposed to come hang out. Until then, I’ll probably sit around here and do jack shit. I’m completely fine with that. I’ll need all the rest I can get before the work week starts up again. My pre-audit is almost complete. I have all but 4 sections done, and I saved the craziest and most time-consuming for last…the Air & Seafreight departments…ugh. Once I have that done, I’ll give the rest of these cats a minute to fix what needs to be fixed, have my audit prep girl come out from Chicago, and hopefully be set and get a passing score on my audit when judgment day comes August 12-14.

…suffice it to say, I took August 15th off.

Forecast for Romulus, MI 48174 - Tuesday, July 15, 2008:
High: 87° F

I’m in a dress shirt, a tie, and dress pants.

I’m going to die.

Did you ever inadvertently smell something that just makes all sorts of memories come back? I don’t mean just regular memories, but the kind that slam you back to memories of something very comforting, and something that you thought was reassuring. It also takes you back to a reminder of the many reasons why you are the way you are today. And now the damned smell won’t go away because it’s temporarily embedded in your skin…yet you want to torture yourself and keep smelling it once you’ve had a small whiff because you’ve missed the hell out of that smell..because it reminds you of that feeling you once had that you couldn’t get enough of…even if you don’t miss the person that feeling is associated with.

Funny the things that happen that strengthen the fact that you’d like a fucking post-beating spree lobotomy.

Tomorrow afternoon I get the beatdown from Lear. I have the tie all ready for them to hang me with right in the middle of my conference room. They’re one of those clients that are never fucking happy no matter how much you bend over backwards for them, so this should be interesting. How do I know this is going to be a shitty meeting? My manager and supervisor are acting VERY fishy today…and very vague. They only do that shit when something bad is about to go down.

Ugh. Time to attempt meditation…if I can get my mind to slow down at all.

I finally got around to watching this…those two are so fucking gay for each other.

Yeah, meh, I haven’t posted in awhile.

The week was pretty busy, and Friday was the grand finale of nutty. Just odd things happening at work, etc.

Friday Jenn came over. We started out down in A2 riding bikes (see below). The bikes are actually still in the back of my car…heh. After the madness at Gallup, we got some stuff at Meijer and headed back to my place where I made the incredible dinner and we overindulged on what we’ve lovingly entitled “Jim Jones Juice.” DANGEROUS CONCOCTION. Fuh realz. We ended up drunk and wandering around the complex again…naturally.

Saturday we woke up and decided to recover and head over to downtown A2 for a few. We decided to “make it interesting,” but ended up being slightly zombified instead. We came back, Jenn left, and I napped til almost 9. Whoops. So yeah…I figured I would end up just zoning out on the couch for the night, but Reneé ended up coming over, and Scot came shortly after. We ended up getting nice and loaded and stayed up til god knows what time. There was a lot of soon-to-be-ex-husband drama with Reneé, but she managed to squash it (she also managed to hurl on my living room floor, but that was taken care of ASAP).

Today was the usual Sunday laziness. This week looks to be equally as nutty as last week, if not moreso. I really need to get paid so I can get some damned food in this place besides rice and Soy Vey.

Also, leave it to me to be having dreams of this guy eating my brains…

Quick post…

Jenn and I were at Gallup Park in Ann Arbor yesterday riding bikes. As we were going to leave, we managed to snap THIS gem…so, of course, we had our way with it.

I’ll post more later when I think of it